The voice the says "Uch, I don't care about this anymore."

You know what I'm talking about- that voice....... that annoying voice in our heads that when its late, or we've had an exhausting day, or when we don't want to have to prepare ourselves something healthy when there's so much good perfectly made unhealthy food around us.

the voice that says :

I don't care anymore!!!

I don't care if I can't fit into my skirts anymore.

And I don't care if it's bad for my heart.

And I don't care that I've worked so hard, I just don't CARE!

You know that voice?

I know that voice, and for some reason it's been speaking pretty loudly in my head recently.

Dr. Beck in her book, labeled that 'our teenager voice'

Thats the voice thats inside of us, with it's arm crossed across her chest, snapping gum loudly, while breaking curfew and ditching school and looking at you with a stare that says 'oh yeah, and what are you going to do about it.'

Otherwise known as our teenager voice.

And whats the best way to handle a teenager? Acknowledge her needs, label the rebellion for what it is- just a phase, and move on.

The same is true with that voice. When you hear it inside of you, urging you to eat what you want, skip exercise, and give up on this whole stupid health thing- the first thing you need to do is:

-Laugh, its funny that we still have that piece of us inside telling us what to do.

-Acknowledge the want to just not care - it would make life a whole lot easier

-Distract- do something else for a minute to clear your mind

-Redirect- go read where you wrote down the reasons you wanted to be healthy in the first place, or call someone who you know can re-motivate you to where you want to be.

But please, don't hand out the keys to your teenager voice- in a few days time when you snap out of it- you will not be pleased with the havoc wreaked on your body and your resolve.

Use the feelings of "fatness"- don't let it slow you down

One of my good friends said to me the other day :
"I'm not even going to step on the scale for a few weeks after the holiday- it's not worth it- I know it will be higher than it should be."

Everyone I know is like stepping out of a cave when it comes to health. The food was never ending, the work needed to make the food happen was exhausting, and the exercise was either non-existent, or not as it should be.

But- we can do it- it's time to take a deep breathe, and jump right back in to doing the things that we know will get our body back to where it needs to be.

So feel that extra bit of flab, that extra tightness of your clothes, or look at the higher numbers on the scale- then take a deep breathe and say to yourself:

"This is to be expected because of the reality of my last few weeks- but I won't let it get me down as it doesn't can't ever define ME- I will choose to use it as motivation- I will use it as my push to get off the couch and exercise, I will remember this feeling every time I reach for the (add craving food here), and I will use it every time I think that I can have just one more helping of unplanned foods at a meal. I am going to burn this uncomfortable, yucky, demoralizing, feeling of what I DON'T want into my memory so that I can use it again and again- and I am going to step by step do what I need to do to be the healthy person I want to be once more."

The trick is to not feel that you're starting over

The key to this is not turning this into a pity party and further proof of why you are not capable of doing this,.

You can do this- stop putting yourself down and make a plan.

Three things you can do to turn that "fat" feeling into action:
-Learn what a proper portion size is- and commit to stick to it at every meal for a whole week
-Write our a weekly meal plan- write out everything you're going to eat ahead of it and stick to it no matter what
-Commit to exercise one more time than you're used to this week- you don't need a class or a machine to get it done- look up a strength or cardio workout that you can do in your own living room for 20 minutes

Lastly- I am starting two new groups within the next few weeks- contact me if you're interested. Getting the encouragement of a group and committing to a 12 week class is one of the best things you can do to make the changes you want to see in your life.

I leave you with one of my favorite inspiration videos about what it means to change your life- it can be running- it can be anything- the goal is to just do it- and as in this video- the goal is not just about health- it's about self esteem and becoming the happier person you want to be

Me Before You? But Matzah Before Me?

There's a popular book out right now called 'Me Before You'. When I saw the title of the book I thought to myself, is that a question or a statement?

A lot of the women I talk to, work with, am friends with, am related to, etc.- they all have the same problem. Where do they rank in priority list?

Me before the cleaning?
Me before the cooking?
Me before the shopping?
Me before the bedtime stories?
Me before the date night with the husband?
Me before the homework and the new shoes because there's holes in the old ones?

What do I mean with this priority list?

Exercising and eating healthy takes time, attention, and concentration- no two ways about it.

So something has to give....... something has to be put farther down on the list........

A lot of women have spent their lives putting other people before them- now that's a hard habit to break.

As women- there's a high emphasis on being caring, giving, and selfless- and doing things to help take care of yourself at the "expense of others" seems to go against that. "I don't want to be one of those selfish women"- is something many people in my groups have told me.

But the picture is skewed- the situation is being looked at through a fuzzy looking glass.

To take care of yourself so that you feel refreshed and renewed and can go into each of the relationships in your life in a more whole hearted way?

To take care of your health so that you can dance the night away at your childs wedding, run around with your grandkids at the park, and live years longer to enjoy what blessings G-d gave you.....

Does that sound selfish to you?

Pesach, Passover, The Matzah holiday- its coming soon, and its coming fast.

Stress runs high, tempers run short, and there is a lot to do.

But that doesn't mean you can't plan out what you're eating this week, and even next week.

That doesn't mean you should stop exercising. Quite the opposite- you need it now more than ever.

And if you're taking the time to take care of yourself in the middle of this storm, not only will you be more pleasant to be around- but you will be modeling for all the loved ones around you how to balance stressful life situations with the need to replenish yourself as well.

Get outside, breathe in the air (still cold, but better than last month), and remind yourself that there's a whole world still pumping around you.

Dance, run, job, walk, yoga, whatever- do something for you- because you deserve it, and because it makes you an even better you to be able to share with other people.

And as always- make a plan- here are some suggestions:

-plan out each meal, even on yontif, and don't skip having a healthy breakfast each and every day
-walk and move your body every day
-plan in exercise- at least 2 to 3 times during the week
-give yourself dessert limits like: I can choose one dessert or two dessert items per day- and have fruit otherwise
-drink lots of water (especially since wine at the Seder can dehydrate you easily if you don't replenish
-Enjoy yourself and live in the moment- don't spend the whole holiday worrying about the next part

Lastly- as always- we all make mistakes- just catch yourself as quickly as possible and move on to a healthier day the next day.

Chag Kasher V'Sameach

When it doesn't go as planned...

Though I have been wanting to write this post ever since the incident happened, I have been dreading it, and putting it off for as long as I can.

Forgive me healthy habits readers for I have sinned, I have broken my plan, and have not confessed to you my hh community about the how's and whys of this occurrence.

And truly, I have talked about falling off track before, but I think the reason why this is hard is because this was about something else a whole lot deeper, so let's take a moment to talk about what happened.

I wrote to you all about how I went off to a distant city to learn a new professional skill to help my clients that I work with.

I wrote out all my plans, everything I packed, everything I was going to eat, and how confident I was feeling in my ability to flex that resistance muscle, while still eating delicious dinners at restaurants so I wouldn't feel deprived.

Well on day two of my training is when the incident occurred. Thought it doesn't have to do with my work with eating and health, some of the other work I do has to do with trauma and abuse. I was learning a skill to use with clients to help them overcome traumatic memories.

Part of this training was that we would learn the technique, and then in the afternoons we would split into pairs and be asked to access our worst memories from childhood. Didn't need to be abusive or incredibly traumatic, but not the ones we really want to be thinking about and that we wish we could forget entirely.

So now imagine, I'm in New York City, away from my family and my home base. I am meeting all day in a conference with people I have never met before and creating all new relationships. The training is in a basement, and they provide nothing to eat but chocolate rugelach and some instant coffee. Its all new learning, for an entire day at a time, and to top it off we are being asked to share the worst of our childhoods with complete strangers to be used and exploited in the name of training experience.

By the middle of the day on day two I could feel that I was breaking. I was exhausted, emotionally, physically, and cognitively. And a dear young new friend of mine offered to take me to see the main street where all the restaurants and activities were happening during our lunch break. I needed to get out of that basement, so anywhere sounded good.

We drove, and soon enough we were in front of one of the best pizza places in the world. I said I didn't want to stop, but my new friend could tell I was lying, and nudged me to go in. I couldn't help it. I was exhausted of all energy and will power, so I went in and ordered a slice.

Now what upsets me about this story is not that I ate a piece of pizza, it was only one, and I could have figured out a way to substitute it for a different treat, or whatever,

What just flabbergasts me is the reaction to the eating of that piece of pizza. The experience completely took me over. I closed my eyes. I ate it slowly. It was so good I almost started crying. I felt consumed by this pizza. I felt near tears at the sensation of eating this glob of cheese, oil, and crust in my hands. I felt all warm inside. Like as if my body were saying to me "oh thank goodness, what the heck took you so long, we were dying in here." But it truly felt that I wasn't just filling a physical hunger, but in a true sense an emotional one as well.

I felt like I got a glimpse of what it must feel like to be a cocaine addict, or some other type of addiction. Many people believe that food can be and is an addiction in a true sense for people. I felt that day like I was enamored and completely subsumed by this pizza eating experience. It felt awful, humbling, and yet so right all at the same time.

So there's my confession- its not what I did- or how much I ate- it was the feeling of deep emotional relief that came along with it that made me embarrassed to declare to you all what had happened.

Its been over two weeks from that day and that experience. And I am grateful for it because it taught me several things.

1.It doesn't always have to be wrong to be comforted by food. Eating can possibly be one tool on your tool-belt of life coping tools. Especially if the eating has a beginning and an end to its quantity. Food just can't be your only or main coping mechanism.

2. I really can't, not for myself or the people I work with, underestimate the power, pull, and intoxication that people have with food. It defies logic, thought, or reason at times. So in order to help myself and others with their food, healthy, and control issues- I need to respect the level of power food can have in life.

3.The more that you can understand how emotional needs are powerful- the more you can forgive when things like this happen and move on quickly. On the way back to my hosts home after this training I was already planning ahead to what the rest of my evening would look like exercise and eating wise. I could have been beating myself up the whole time instead- which would have only made things worse.

4. During emotional times, I need a better plan. I am going back in June for the second part of this training. I need a better plan and I need to expect emotional exhaustion. This means I need to plan less outings with friends at night while I'm there and more sleep time. This means I should plan to look at comforting pictures during the lunch break of my family and friends. This means I need to breathe and let go of the anxiety in my shoulders consciously throughout the training days. This means I should plan on having heart to heart talks- or long runs during my lunch and dinner breaks. If its emotional needs that filling- well I better fill it or food will.

5. Maybe next time I will plan on bringing something chocolately with me for a lunchtime treat that I can control the portion and fat content- and eat less for my dinners.

If you can't learn and adapt from every "mistake" that happens, that's where life will get you.

That's it from me for now.

Signing off very humbly human,

Rachel

Purim- Let the Junk Food Onslaught Begin

Purim is a supposed to be a time of happiness, charity, closeness to G-d, appreciating miracles, and appreciating our daily small miracles. They say that its a day of holiness where the gates of heaven are open to us and we can ask for anything we want.

Yet- we don't usually have time to be devout, pour our hearts out, or even feel like a normal human being- and really- how can we make requests from G-d when our mouths are so darn stuffed with food the whole day.

People who have food issues feel fear in their hearts when Purim comes along. There is just so many food decisions to be made. There is just so many people eating junk food everywhere we look. Its also hard because it's almost like we've been programmed to think that a part of Purim is eating the junk food.

This is a good time to talk about two things- one is about planning ahead, and the other is paying attention to why you're compelled to eat.

Number One, I've talked about ad nauseam on this blog, but it's worth repeating: Make a plan!!!!

This can and should include:
-Writing out ahead of time what you will be eating for breakfast lunch and dinner plus fruit snacks throughout the day
-Making sure you eat those meals and snacks and don't let yourself get too hungry
-Close your eyes and see yourself eating your omelet in the morning, your whole wheat tuna wrap with extra lettuce for lunch, or whatever you're eating- and smiling while saying "no thank you" to all of the shaloch Manos that come swarming into your house.
-Decide ahead of time to eat one or two "treats" Maybe one at lunchtime and one at the end of the night after you've surveyed all the bounty that has accumulated.
-Promise yourself a reward (non-food) of some kind the next day if you can stick to that plan.
-Give yourself credit, it's amazing that you can do what you are able to do.

Number Two: Why are you eating junk food when you don't want to be?

-Eating is very often about more than just "bad habits". You're eating because you're feeling something and food will calm it, distract from it, and help you escape from it.
-If Purim is going to be overwhelming for you and you usually eat when you feel flooded- then your game plan needs to be more extensive than what's listed above. You need something else to do to cope with the craziness.
-If you're eating because you're sad, or feeling rejected, or stressed- same thing- lets find something else to help you with that.

Try the following:
-Breathing exercises (more helpful than you might think) - identify that you're feeling one of the things listed above, and then try some 'belly breathing'
-Imagery- Last week when I was away for the week one of the things I had to do was pick a 'safe place' in my head, a place I can go when I feel overwhelmed to just be, and feel safe, and then come back when I was ready. I forgot how useful this technique is, and I recommend you try it.
-A pre-prepared buddy: Tell someone you're worried about Purim and that you may need to text or call them to vent instead of eating
-Take a early morning, mid-day or early evening walk outside. Whether its a 3 mile run or a walk around the block to get some air. Fresh air and physical movement can re-center you in a way that's different yet as effective as food.
-Write a responses card to help you- a card that could remind you that food doesn't help you feel better- it often makes it worse. Or a response card that reminds you that whatever comes your way that you can handle it.

We can do this. We can get through Purim in a healthy way, picking a few treats, feeling proud of ourselves that we can say no to bad food choices, and being kind to ourselves.

Purim is an excellent opportunity for us to build up, as Dr Judith Beck calls it, "our resistance muscle"

Happy, Healthy, and Holy Purim everyone!

Cuz I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane...........

This week I am heading off for a work trip. I'm going to New York which means:

-A lot of traffic
-Seeing lots of old friends
-Amazing Kosher Pizza- yum

This is a huge trap for me. New York has a lot of easy, delicious, and readily available food. I've been healthy for a long time, I'm at a healthy weight, whats the big deal if I take a few days off right?

Well, no, not right. A few meals off? Maybe- but breakfast lunch and dinner out and about at restaurants can add up to thousands more calories that I usually eat combined. And I probably won't get to exercise as much as I usually do which means I'l be burning less calories too(unless I run from Manhattan to Brooklyn- hhhmmmm...)

The other side of my brain starts picking up over here- "But I can't worry about my food too!" Which is true. I had a lot of things to tie up at work, tons of planning on details for the kids, not to mention all of the packing and repacking I did to make sure I don't make a fool out of myself in my hick town clothes in front of all of these New York professionals........

Deep breathe, this is all about planning, and reframing. I can plan ahead- and reframe some of my anxious thoughts with "I will be proud of myself, and will strengthen my resistance muscle if I can walk away from this trip having stayed in control and kept to a plan."

Ok- so here's how it can go:

I have decided that dinners I can go and have fun (but I must have a vegetable side dish at every dinner). Fine, easy, done with that.

Second, I decided to ask my friend who I am staying with what kind of cereals she had. She told me that she has my favorite healthy cereal and that she has some strawberries I can cut in. Perfect, done with that. (I hope she has good coffee, hhmmmm forgot to ask)

Third- lunches- which will be the hardest because I am at all day clinical trainings with only 45 minutes for lunch and a lot of restaurants in the area.

Ok, so I am bringing with me:
-a package of wasa crackers
-two apples
-two pears
-three hard boiled eggs
-avocado
-spices
-pre checked lettuce
-a batch of healthy granola bars
-some tea bags of my favorite mint flavored tazo tea

Seems like a lot right? Fits all into one Target back, and took me five minutes to pack up.

Ok, breathe in, breathe out- all better. I have a plan. I know what I'm going to eat, no excuses of needing pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner because I'm away from home. But I still get treats every night in terms of a more lavish dinner so I don't feel deprived.

Once you get your brain in the habit of doing this- pre-planning actually makes your life easier, not harder.

Well everyone wish me luck! Another good thing I just did is make myself accountable. Now you all know my plan so if you see me around next week- ask me if I kept to my plan. Knowing you all are out there will definitely make me stick to the program.

Have a good weekend!

Making a Mental Game Plan

I have to go to a wedding tonight, and this is after having gone to a large party yesterday at my synagogue. Both events mean the same thing:

LOTS OF FOOD!

Meats, deli chunks, cookies, cake pops, brownies, candy dishes, breads, assorted nuts, ................

You get the picture.

I think this is the thing that most people feel the most "out of control" about. Like they have good intentions but then- how could they help it?

They can't be the only one not eating?!!

They can't go to a wedding for 6 hours and not eat?!!

They can't be held responsible for pigging out on their FAVORITE FOOD that they had no idea was going to be there?!?!?

Case closed right? Can't be healthy and be someone that goes to food events- might as well give up.

Not so fast- there is a way to get through this- its really quite simple- but takes some forethought.

Make a plan.

That's it. Make a plan. Decide ahead of time what you're going to eat, how much of it you're going to it, and make a commitment to sticking to it- NO MATTER WHAT

The trick to this is being realistic and fair. A plan could look like this "I will eat one dessert item equal to but no bigger than the size of three fingers. And then I can have five little candies or nuts from a bowl" or "I can have a half a cup serving size of cholent of cut up roast meat- and 3 candies" or "One dessert and as much fruit as I want".

A plan at a wedding could be this ask for the vegetarian or salmon dinner- you can eat salmon the size of your palm, all the vegetables, and half a cup of a starch. Separate out right away to two different sides of the plate what you are and are not going to eat. Stick to it, and either no dessert or a portion of the dessert.

Then- here's the next important step- picture yourself actually doing it- close your eyes- and envision yourself walking into the room full of food- only taking the food you have planned on your plate- and then being done. Picture other people around you pigging out, eating a ton of food around you- and then imagine yourself smiling about the fact that you're going to stick to your plan no matter what. Then picture yourself walking out of the room or event proud of yourself for what you've accomplished.

One important side note to this is a behavioral technique on top of the cognitive one listed above- Eat before you leave. Have a bowl of cereal, vegetable soup, or a whole wheat sandwich before you leave the house. Do not walk into these events hungry, that is a recipe for disaster.

So plan ahead- don't underestimate the power of mental pre-planning, and be proud of yourself consciously every time you keep to your mental game plan.

You can be the social event diva that you want to be- without the extra calories.

The Biggest Loser: When It Goes Too Far

People are sometimes not impressed when I present to them the "mind" or "mental health" side of being healthy and losing weight.

"Whats the big deal? Either you have self control and you do it, or you're lazy and you don't."

The other thing that people get agitated about is that throughout Dr Beck's book that I use heavily in my group program- she requires you to 'give yourself credit' every day for every good decisions you make about food and exercise.

People always say to me "thank you very much for your therapisty hippy feel good love everybody garbage- but I am not going to be a dork that says 'yay me' each time I don't eat a stupid cookie"

With all due humble respect, both of those outlooks are wrong, very wrong. And this is exactly why:

For those of you who haven't heard about this- this is the video above of Rachel, the past seasons winner of 'The Biggest Loser'. On the biggest loser contestants compete against one another to lose weight, and then at the end, they all go home for a few months, and the three finalists weight in at a finale, where the winner gets a quarter of a million dollars.

Although it's been 15 seasons, this is one of the first times that the overall winner came out looking, well, anorexic. Rachel is an athletic person, and in episodes before this you saw her as muscular and fit looking. Here, at the finale, she is gaunt, she trips up the stairs, and seems to have lost all the awesome muscle she had in her arms/legs.

Anorexia is a very serious illness where in a person's mind they literally cannot see their thinness the way other people around them can, they see a fat body in the mirror. They treat themselves like a slave driver, have a lot of strict and rigid rules around eating unhealthily minuscule amounts of food, and can only see the "mistakes" they make without feeling any pride or strength in their bodies.

But I know a lot of people who don't even have full blown anorexia, they treat themselves, their bodies, and their lives as if there's no sense in feeling accomplishment, it's all about pushing themselves harder, stronger, faster, and with no mercy. Often we see that backfire, way before anorexia sets in.

People who push themselves like that, without stopping to be kind and take care of themselves mentally and physically, often times rebel against themselves. Often you will see people binge crazy amounts of food, or stop exercising completely for weeks at a time, or cringe when anyone compliments their appearance genuinely.

The ability to be thin, healthy, and fit, MUST be accompanied by the ability to build yourself up on the inside. To take pride in your gains and when you overcome something. Otherwise, when you treat yourself harshly, it's as if you are taking a baseball bat to the very mind and soul that you're counting on to get you to where you need to be. You're breaking down and minimizing the very body that you're supposed to be taking care of in this life.

One of the greatest signs of mental health in this arena is the ability to be cognitively flexible, to be strong, and still to feel lazy every once in a while. To make lots of good food decisions, and to make a mistake every once in a while. To plan in a treat, and be flexible if you decide to take that treat on a different day, but still strong enough to not eat more than planned. This also includes the ability to not make rigid rules, to not berate yourself and feel shame every time you "mess up", and to truly believe inside of you that you can do it because you're awesome.

Rachel from the biggest loser, I think, went to far. At some point along the way she forgot the point of this health journey. You can see it on the faces of the trainers when they see her, they look away, horrified. This is not what they taught her, this is not what people who make people healthy want for their clients.

The moral of this story is this- mark every health accomplishment and self control decision you make with a conscious statement giving yourself credit for that feat. And don't ever discount the role of the mind and mental health in our quest to get healthy. The goal of this is, and should always be, the healthiest whole you- not ever about empty numbers on a scale. And the second you or anyone loses sight of what this is supposed to be about- it's time to reassess big time.

For Rachel, I hope you get back to that fit healthy girl you wanted to be when you started the show. I think all of America wants that for you.

(and for people here in Chicago, I am starting a new group soon, contact me if you're interested)

Whats the Point of Vacation Without Junk Food?

I recently got back on vacation- and though this was cute:

When I think vacation I think:

BIG juicy hamburgers

Large endless milkshakes (or mojitos after the kids are asleep)

Snickers bars at truck stops

Ice cream cones at the random shopping malls

Here's what I don't want to think about:

Apples?!?!?

Salads?!?!?

Grilled Chicken Breast?!?!?

Boring!!!!!!!!!

I want to read a book- not figure out how to fit in a workout.

But, my thinking on this is a little off.

With a little planning, and a little bit of extra treats- vacation can be enjoyable AND not add back all the calories you worked so hard to keep off the week before.

Restaurants:
Decide ahead of time what "food groups" you're going to eat- and then plan on having ONE dessert if you can stay away from everyone else's fries during the main course (i.e., I will eat one lean protein- a lot of vegetables, a small carb, and some healthy fat)

Snacks:
Pre-make some granola bars, buy fruit where you go, and those chummos dips with pretzels and some extra baby carrots can go a long way. Don't forget to snack, because if you go into meal time starving that will spell disaster.

Meal Planning:
Take a deep breathe- every meal while you're away doesn't have to be gourmet and calorie filled in order for you to feel like you had a nice time. If good food is the ONLY way for you to feel that you've enjoyed yourself- you've got some work to do. If not- try to RADICALLY ACCEPT that you're not eating like a piggie anymore and concentrate on the other things you love about vacation. Multigrain cheerios with cut up fruit works where ever you are - even in a hotel room.

Exercise:
Hotels often have awesome workout rooms, with much better equipment than I have at home. At the front desk they often have walking and running routes you can take in the area. Get up early and take a brisk walk. There is no better way to feel that you've explored a new place than on foot. You'll be surprised how many different things you learn how to experience about new locations when you do it on foot or bicycle.

Treats:
If vacation means ice cream- plan in that ice cream, it's important! But maybe also plan in a long bike ride or swim before or after. Plan in a salad for lunch the meal before the ice cream. And stop at one scoop when they ask you if you want more. Then close your eyes, and enjoy that ice cream. Don't let yourself be distracted and wolfing it down to the point where five seconds later you can't even recall what it tasted like. When you're having a treat, let yourself enjoy that treat.

Now that I'm home from vacation, I'm very happy to have my kitchen back.

And I still had fun, even if I didn't down the pringles and oreos like I would have done a couple of years ago. I needed to separate the notion of good food equals a fun vacation. I am slowly but surely doing that overtime, and radically accepting the disappointment here and there. But I come back knowing that I am the healthier and more in control person I want to be. Which I want more than any Snicker bar- well- more most of the time.

Getting Support from Loved Ones and Wedding Anniversaries

Yesterday was my 13th wedding anniversary.

(with our daughter at her recent bas mitzvah)

This means a lot to me for many reasons. But as I was thinking about what to write about this week- it connected in my brain why this is important to me in my health journey as well.

We are a culture- and women are a gender- that doesn't always value speaking up ourselves and what we need.

It is a real skill to be able to identify that we need support, be able to articulate what it is that we need, and then have the courage to face our own shame or need to be all powerful and be vulnerable to someone else in our life.

People often say to me-

"I can't ask my husband to change what our dinners look like"
or
"I don't want to have to bother anyone else with my eating issues"
or
"Its embarrassing to have to tell my mother in law that I can only eat certain things or that I'm bringing my own food"
or
"I'm embarrassed to tell people that I'm trying to eat differently, because I've tried so many other things before and they haven't worked and I'm afraid of failing again- and having someone I care about know about it"

Trust me, I understand how horrifying, embarrassing, shaming, and feeling needy to someone else can be.

But you deserve it- you deserve the right to have someone make accommodations for you and cheer you on.

You would want someone else you love to come to you and tell you what they need in order to be happy and healthy.

And let's remember that we live in a ridiculous society where we almost need to feel scared to ask about needing healthy foods.

Change is hard- change feels awkward- but we NEED to ask for support so that the people around help us to become the healthier people we need to be, instead of actually making it harder.

So be brave-

ask someone for what you need

tell you spouse or loved one what you need in order to build the healthy life you dream of

be ready to compromise and don't push healthy food on other people that aren't ready for it- but don't accept living a life with cookies and brownies under your nose at all times.

Which brings me back to my husband. I thank G-d every day for my husband, because he doesn't always see eye to eye with my healthy eating decisions. He won't eat half the things I make for myself, and he even has the salads started at the other end of the table from him when we're entertaining guests because he doesn't find them all that appetizing.

But he helps me, he supports me, and he's proud of me for the differences I've been able to do differently in my life. I was afraid to ask him at first. Because it's so not something he's interested in (yet, I'm sure his metabolism will slow down some day and he will be) and it's not something he understands because he has no emotional attachment to food.

But I sat him down, explained how out of control I felt, explained what a friend and enemy food is to me, and talked about how much I want to be a different person when it came to health.

And he agreed- so he accepts much plainer dinners, so that I can concentrate more on my dinners. He watches the kids time and time again so I can go running. He had to deal with the fact that we wouldn't be going to eat as much as we used to. And all of the ridiculous magazines that come our way that I needed in order to learn how to do this new life that I wanted for myself.

But he did it with a smile (sometimes a plastered on smile) and with love- because he knew it was whats best for me. And that meant ultimately better for us.

So I want to take a moment to say thank you to my supportive amazing husband-

But I also want to encourage you to break out of whatever it is that's holding you back about sharing your dreams, your goals, and your needs when it comes to your health. Ask for what you need from those around you, nicely, but with the conviction that you're a priority.

You need to do this in order to be successful.
and
You're worth it!

An "Arctic Vortex"- How Am I Supposed to Run Through This?!?!

Being a "runner" in Chicago in January is not fun. In fact, it stinks, and is a depressing self-defeating piece of my identity.

I have all the running gear- the heavy running jackets, the masks that make you look like a bank robber, the gloves, the insulated running tights, - yes yes it's all in my drawer.

But when you're faced with this:

And recently temperatures that have gone so low in the past couple of days- I don't know how we as human beings live here- it seems that I might just have to resort to this:

Now I hate treadmills, with a passion. When I say I love running, I am not talking about on a treadmill. I feel like treadmill running is usually a slow form of torture, I happen to have one in my basement though.

So guess what happens when it's this cold, this snowy, this icy- and I can't run outside but don't want to run on the dreadmill-

I go days and days without doing anything. The unhealthy, sabotaging side of my brain throws a party and says "woo hoo, we finally got her- that's right, this is miserable, just keep sitting on the couch, eat a bag of tortilla chips while you're there, that's a good girl"

In the cold of winter- this is the time we need to push to be motivated to exercise. It's a time to try something new, try something fun, and challenge ourselves in other ways.

We need to create a cognitive mantra to respond to the sabotaging thought that says- "I'm going to exercise today no matter what- whats up to me is what kind of exercise I do."

Is it a new Jillian Michaels video that I found pirated on youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w2ssgjdIts

Is it meeting up with a few friends on New Years to be a little craaazy and face the snowy icey wind head on:

(note the icicles on our eyelashes, thank you for being dumb, dumber, and dumbest with me M and W)

Is it this workout that I tried Saturday night when I couldn't leave the house- which was so hard I felt like I was going to throw up afterwards- in a good way ofcourse:
http://www.runnersworld.com/workouts/ironstrength-workout

Is it trying to do short intervals on the treadmill so at least I can keep my mind engaged in that while I stare at my basement wall:
http://www.runnersworld.com/workouts/four-great-treadmill-workouts

Or going out with my mother in law to do zumba on a night that's 17 below zero

We just have to keep the mantra up- "It's not if I exercise- it's- which exercise am I going to do?

So it really does stink to be a runner in Chicago in January- but I just tell that runner in me that's dying to come out- don't worry- it'll get warm again one day- or at least after a day like today, I certainly hope so. And if not- I'm collecting miles from generous souls to send me away someone warm- I'm thinking a half marathon in Jamaica in February sounds really nice right now.............................