It's Not Fair......

When it comes to food, weight, and body type- how many of you have thought the following:

-Look at what she's eating, and yet she still looks so skinny, she doesn't ever have to work at it- IT'S NOT FAIR
-Everyone else can stop after one cookie at a party and I can't- IT'S NOT FAIR
-Other people can find the time to exercise, but it just doesn't fit into my schedule- IT't NOT FAIR
-Here I am out for dinner with my big extended family and everyone is enjoying themselves and eating whatever they want while I'm depriving myself so I can fit into a dress next month- IT'S NOT FAIR
-She just had a baby three weeks ago and she already fits back into her clothing- while I had my "baby" 3 years ago and am still three sizes bigger- IT'S NOT FAIR

While all of these might be "fair" statements to make- they don't help you in the slightest. And actually- they do the opposite- they make it harder for you to achieve what you want in your health life.

Everyone is born with different abilities, predispositions, physical limitations, intelligences, and they're all highly personal.

Unfortunately for us we live in a society that worships thin bodies- So even though we all have different strengths- we are obsessed with people who we perceive that healthy eating, an athletic body, and low weight come "naturally" to them.

Next time you catch yourself playing the "fairness" game- ask yourself this:
-If you compare yourself to all of the people who you perceive look "better" than you- do you also compare yourself to all the people who don't look as good as you? Ofcourse not- or at least most people don't- so why is it fair that you're always comparing yourself unfairly?
-You're making an assumption about someone- how do you know what their health life looks like?
-Your health goals, your ability to eat healthy, and exercise often- is all about you, and has nothing to do with other people. 
-We all have our strengths and weaknesses- food or exercise might be your weakness- choose to "accept" that- don't spend so much energy fighting it anymore- and turn all of that jealousy, anger, bitterness, longing- into the motivation that helps you meet your goals.

Prepare yourself - life isn't created on a perfect scale and very few things in life appear to be even, especially when compared. You need to create a cognitive response for yourself- that when you start thinking any of the thoughts above you then immediate replace it with this:

"Life isn't about fairness, its above succeeding and overcoming my own personal challenges. I want to be healthy for me, and only me. Eating healthy and exercise is more than just about weight- it's about life and the way I am choosing to live it. If I have to try harder than some people, so be it, I accept that. I am going to stop wasting my time and energy worrying about it- and instead am going to go kick butt at my next workout"

My next group is starting a week from Sunday- If you're interested please let me know- otherwise- stop worrying about "fair" and what the other girl looks like- and go enjoy a healthy life.

The Power of Goals and Rewards

Yesterday was a special day for me.

I'm going to go backwards for a minute. When I started this cognitive program to lose weight, I was asked to write a list of advantages. I had to make a list, that said: "if I could achieve my goal and lose the weight I wanted, what would be better in my life that would make it worth it to do all this work."

One of the things I had listed was to be able to run faster. I love running, which I know not everybody does. But it's part of how I keep myself healthy- body and soul. I try to run actual 'races' a few times a year so that I can see whether or not I have gotten faster.

Its a fact, the lighter you are, the faster you can run. And the more you work on strength training, building cardio endurance, fueling your body with foods that help your body move instead of slowing it down- the faster you can run.

A few months ago I signed up to do a half marathon through the national park in the Indiana Sand Dunes. It promised to be a gorgeous course, flat, and good weather. What I didn't count on was how few people were going to be there- but always up for a good experience, my friend Wendy and I bravely toed the starting line yesterday morning.

My race plan was simple. Run slower than I wanted to in the first 6 miles, run the pace I wanted for the next 4 miles, and then gun it and run out everything I had left in the last three miles. As I was running I reviewed in my mind all of the workouts that had gotten me here (an excellent cognitive tool to boost confidence btw). And I remembered what it had been like to run with those 35 extra pounds that I had on my body frame just two short years before now. My mind was busy and my legs kept moving- but it was a great day for me- I just felt good and content the whole way through. I ran through forests of changing leaves, past the beautiful Lake Michigan lake front, and through marshy high grass- and it was honestly breathe-takingly gorgeous.

In the last three miles, I let it rip. I ran each mile faster than the next, and almost cried with relief when I saw the finish line. I zoomed through and looked at my time. 1:50:33- a great time, and very close to hitting almost all of the goals I had set for myself.

But here's where it gets funny. Because this was SUCH a small race and a first time event- I placed first place in my age group of 30-34 aged women. I can't even tell you how funny and shocking this is, and how in any other race in the Chicagoland area with that time I might have placed in the top 100, maybe.

I got my medal in an awards ceremony, took the picture above, and chuckled to myself the whole way home. But here's where it gets interesting. On the way home I started craving snickers bars and cheese curls. And I wanted them now!

My brain said "Rach- you deserve it, you put in the work, you ran your heart out this morning- let's go raid a 7/11".

But another piece of me, the piece that this Healthy Habits program has created said "Rach- you only were able to run this way because of all of the times you didn't give in to cravings- wasn't this morning's experience the reward you actually wanted?"

And you know what- the second voice prevailed. Instead of junk- I instead splurged on a large hamburger for dinner, which would actually help my muscles heal through iron and protein. That race time and that age group award, that was what I had been dreaming about all those days on weight watchers, all those workouts when I was too tired, and what I had been focused on when eating healthy seemed just to hard.

So what are your goals? What are your advantages? If you can keep those reasons in mind, read them through EVERY DAY, and want them bad enough, you can achieve any healthy goal you desire. I achieved a little bit of mine yesterday. And it was more rewarding than any Snickers bar could be.

Inspired on the car ride home.....

Tonight I went to Zumba with Tziporah Gelman, and it was amazing as usual.

My usual ride home needed to make a couple of stops, so a different zumba go-er offered to give me a ride.

While we were driving I asked her how long she has been going to zumba and she said she has been going for awhile and she tries to go every Monday night.

I complimented her for being consistent and she said something so inspiring and strong- but I doubt she even knows how amazing it was.

She said: "I just made it so that it's not a choice. Every Monday night I go. I don't decide each week, or think about how I'm feeling once 8 o clock rolls around. Every Monday it's not a choice, I put my gym shoes on and I go".

There is no cognitive skill stronger than this one. Judith Beck talks about this concept in her book that I base a lot of my program on, it's called the "NO CHOICE" response.

If you have decided that you are going to exercise at a certain time, eat a certain amount for dinner, or abstain from a certain treat- there's no choice. If you truly believed this, and if you truly have made the commitment- the voices in your head fighting against you wouldn't stand a chance!

Often we need behavioral reminders of this helpful cognitive tool. Making notes in your calendar, on your phone, or keeping a NO CHOICE note-card in your wallet can be a helpful way to remind yourself of the path you want to take when it comes to your health life. It's shouldn't be seen as a burden- it's a step in the right direction towards training our brains to treat our bodies the way they want to be treated.

It's not a tool that you'll use to keep yourself from treats or breaks all the time- because that wouldn't be cognitively healthy either- but you can consciously decide which things in your life can be put in this NO CHOICE category.

Whether you decide to join my group or not- think to yourself- which of your health choices can you make this concept work for?

What can you decide and be brave enough to put into the category of "no choice"........

Why When Sad Things Happen Do I Wind Up in the Kitchen?

Yesterday was a hard day. It was one of those kind of days when the world seemed unfair. Someone I knew passed away, I listened to the funeral and cried through the eulogies. The weather was cold and rainy. It was just a bad day.

I have been actively working on my food beliefs and habits for about two years now, and yet, throughout the day yesterday I kept finding myself in the kitchen, looking around, without knowing how I got there.

But I knew, oh yes, I knew why I was there.

I was rummaging- I wanted chocolate, I wanted cookies, I wanted cake, BRING ON THE ICE CREAM

Wasn't that the only thing that could save a day like that? Doesn't chocolate cure all the world's ills?

Deep emotion, especially sadness and helplessness over tragedies, tend to have that effect on me. Somewhere deep in my brain the neuro-transmitters that connect chocolate and emotional comfort are so deeply intertwined- that it might always be that sad situations bring me to face my freezer in a desperate search.

But I have learned to stop and ask myself what I really need. The thought and deeply rooted belief "I need chocolate to feel better" went unquestioned for so long. But now I challenge that like a well trained lawyer and can fire back at that belief "oh yeah, whens the last time you went to sleep after a sad day and thought to yourself- well the day was a total wreck and the only thing I'm grateful for is that Hershey's bar" or "I don't need to eat food that will make me feel bad about my self control- I need comfort- let me go find something else that will bring comfort."

Is it 100% fool proof? Do I always stop from eating junk when I'm sad? No- and I don't think that NEVER is really my goal. Everyone once in a while ONE ice cream cone on a bad day is just fine in my book.

I used to have days when I woke up and realized that the night before I had finished off more cookies, ice cream scoops, and chocolates than I cared to remember.

Yesterday I was able to convince myself into some amazing flavored tea with a cinnamon stick.

Using cognitive behavioral habits to manage my health life means I can stop and shine a flashlight on a tough emotion just long enough to ask myself "what is it that I really want- what am I really thinking right now."

I can't control and prevent sudden loss and tragedy in this world, no one can.

But I can cope with things in a way that make me feel truly comforted, and proud about my ability to channel that into something constructive as opposed to destructive.

So let's hear it for large steaming cups of tea! And here's to hoping for only hearing about happy news and not needing this skill for a while to come.