Whats the Point of Vacation Without Junk Food?

I recently got back on vacation- and though this was cute:

When I think vacation I think:

BIG juicy hamburgers

Large endless milkshakes (or mojitos after the kids are asleep)

Snickers bars at truck stops

Ice cream cones at the random shopping malls

Here's what I don't want to think about:

Apples?!?!?

Salads?!?!?

Grilled Chicken Breast?!?!?

Boring!!!!!!!!!

I want to read a book- not figure out how to fit in a workout.

But, my thinking on this is a little off.

With a little planning, and a little bit of extra treats- vacation can be enjoyable AND not add back all the calories you worked so hard to keep off the week before.

Restaurants:
Decide ahead of time what "food groups" you're going to eat- and then plan on having ONE dessert if you can stay away from everyone else's fries during the main course (i.e., I will eat one lean protein- a lot of vegetables, a small carb, and some healthy fat)

Snacks:
Pre-make some granola bars, buy fruit where you go, and those chummos dips with pretzels and some extra baby carrots can go a long way. Don't forget to snack, because if you go into meal time starving that will spell disaster.

Meal Planning:
Take a deep breathe- every meal while you're away doesn't have to be gourmet and calorie filled in order for you to feel like you had a nice time. If good food is the ONLY way for you to feel that you've enjoyed yourself- you've got some work to do. If not- try to RADICALLY ACCEPT that you're not eating like a piggie anymore and concentrate on the other things you love about vacation. Multigrain cheerios with cut up fruit works where ever you are - even in a hotel room.

Exercise:
Hotels often have awesome workout rooms, with much better equipment than I have at home. At the front desk they often have walking and running routes you can take in the area. Get up early and take a brisk walk. There is no better way to feel that you've explored a new place than on foot. You'll be surprised how many different things you learn how to experience about new locations when you do it on foot or bicycle.

Treats:
If vacation means ice cream- plan in that ice cream, it's important! But maybe also plan in a long bike ride or swim before or after. Plan in a salad for lunch the meal before the ice cream. And stop at one scoop when they ask you if you want more. Then close your eyes, and enjoy that ice cream. Don't let yourself be distracted and wolfing it down to the point where five seconds later you can't even recall what it tasted like. When you're having a treat, let yourself enjoy that treat.

Now that I'm home from vacation, I'm very happy to have my kitchen back.

And I still had fun, even if I didn't down the pringles and oreos like I would have done a couple of years ago. I needed to separate the notion of good food equals a fun vacation. I am slowly but surely doing that overtime, and radically accepting the disappointment here and there. But I come back knowing that I am the healthier and more in control person I want to be. Which I want more than any Snicker bar- well- more most of the time.

Getting Support from Loved Ones and Wedding Anniversaries

Yesterday was my 13th wedding anniversary.

(with our daughter at her recent bas mitzvah)

This means a lot to me for many reasons. But as I was thinking about what to write about this week- it connected in my brain why this is important to me in my health journey as well.

We are a culture- and women are a gender- that doesn't always value speaking up ourselves and what we need.

It is a real skill to be able to identify that we need support, be able to articulate what it is that we need, and then have the courage to face our own shame or need to be all powerful and be vulnerable to someone else in our life.

People often say to me-

"I can't ask my husband to change what our dinners look like"
or
"I don't want to have to bother anyone else with my eating issues"
or
"Its embarrassing to have to tell my mother in law that I can only eat certain things or that I'm bringing my own food"
or
"I'm embarrassed to tell people that I'm trying to eat differently, because I've tried so many other things before and they haven't worked and I'm afraid of failing again- and having someone I care about know about it"

Trust me, I understand how horrifying, embarrassing, shaming, and feeling needy to someone else can be.

But you deserve it- you deserve the right to have someone make accommodations for you and cheer you on.

You would want someone else you love to come to you and tell you what they need in order to be happy and healthy.

And let's remember that we live in a ridiculous society where we almost need to feel scared to ask about needing healthy foods.

Change is hard- change feels awkward- but we NEED to ask for support so that the people around help us to become the healthier people we need to be, instead of actually making it harder.

So be brave-

ask someone for what you need

tell you spouse or loved one what you need in order to build the healthy life you dream of

be ready to compromise and don't push healthy food on other people that aren't ready for it- but don't accept living a life with cookies and brownies under your nose at all times.

Which brings me back to my husband. I thank G-d every day for my husband, because he doesn't always see eye to eye with my healthy eating decisions. He won't eat half the things I make for myself, and he even has the salads started at the other end of the table from him when we're entertaining guests because he doesn't find them all that appetizing.

But he helps me, he supports me, and he's proud of me for the differences I've been able to do differently in my life. I was afraid to ask him at first. Because it's so not something he's interested in (yet, I'm sure his metabolism will slow down some day and he will be) and it's not something he understands because he has no emotional attachment to food.

But I sat him down, explained how out of control I felt, explained what a friend and enemy food is to me, and talked about how much I want to be a different person when it came to health.

And he agreed- so he accepts much plainer dinners, so that I can concentrate more on my dinners. He watches the kids time and time again so I can go running. He had to deal with the fact that we wouldn't be going to eat as much as we used to. And all of the ridiculous magazines that come our way that I needed in order to learn how to do this new life that I wanted for myself.

But he did it with a smile (sometimes a plastered on smile) and with love- because he knew it was whats best for me. And that meant ultimately better for us.

So I want to take a moment to say thank you to my supportive amazing husband-

But I also want to encourage you to break out of whatever it is that's holding you back about sharing your dreams, your goals, and your needs when it comes to your health. Ask for what you need from those around you, nicely, but with the conviction that you're a priority.

You need to do this in order to be successful.
and
You're worth it!

An "Arctic Vortex"- How Am I Supposed to Run Through This?!?!

Being a "runner" in Chicago in January is not fun. In fact, it stinks, and is a depressing self-defeating piece of my identity.

I have all the running gear- the heavy running jackets, the masks that make you look like a bank robber, the gloves, the insulated running tights, - yes yes it's all in my drawer.

But when you're faced with this:

And recently temperatures that have gone so low in the past couple of days- I don't know how we as human beings live here- it seems that I might just have to resort to this:

Now I hate treadmills, with a passion. When I say I love running, I am not talking about on a treadmill. I feel like treadmill running is usually a slow form of torture, I happen to have one in my basement though.

So guess what happens when it's this cold, this snowy, this icy- and I can't run outside but don't want to run on the dreadmill-

I go days and days without doing anything. The unhealthy, sabotaging side of my brain throws a party and says "woo hoo, we finally got her- that's right, this is miserable, just keep sitting on the couch, eat a bag of tortilla chips while you're there, that's a good girl"

In the cold of winter- this is the time we need to push to be motivated to exercise. It's a time to try something new, try something fun, and challenge ourselves in other ways.

We need to create a cognitive mantra to respond to the sabotaging thought that says- "I'm going to exercise today no matter what- whats up to me is what kind of exercise I do."

Is it a new Jillian Michaels video that I found pirated on youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w2ssgjdIts

Is it meeting up with a few friends on New Years to be a little craaazy and face the snowy icey wind head on:

(note the icicles on our eyelashes, thank you for being dumb, dumber, and dumbest with me M and W)

Is it this workout that I tried Saturday night when I couldn't leave the house- which was so hard I felt like I was going to throw up afterwards- in a good way ofcourse:
http://www.runnersworld.com/workouts/ironstrength-workout

Is it trying to do short intervals on the treadmill so at least I can keep my mind engaged in that while I stare at my basement wall:
http://www.runnersworld.com/workouts/four-great-treadmill-workouts

Or going out with my mother in law to do zumba on a night that's 17 below zero

We just have to keep the mantra up- "It's not if I exercise- it's- which exercise am I going to do?

So it really does stink to be a runner in Chicago in January- but I just tell that runner in me that's dying to come out- don't worry- it'll get warm again one day- or at least after a day like today, I certainly hope so. And if not- I'm collecting miles from generous souls to send me away someone warm- I'm thinking a half marathon in Jamaica in February sounds really nice right now.............................

Don't Start With What Doesn't Work

I think I have decided what makes this different from a lot of other diets, food plans, or food related programs.

This program is based on your mental health, your cognitive capabilities and reducing suffering.

Jillian Michaels, one of my all time favorite trainers, always seem to give off the impression of no mercy, YOU DON'T LIKE IT- IT FEELS TOO HARD TO YOU- WELL TOUGH!

And she's pretty scary, so I think if I had her yelling in my ear I'd be able to do what she had to say also.

But in the real world, when people CAN'T do something, I turn around and ask- well what part of that CAN you do?

You can't give up having a beer on the weekend? Fine, no problem let's work around that. You can't workout more than twice a week- ok let's start there- and see if the person can give five more minutes of push ups and sit ups at some point during their week. You don't like vegetables? Ok- what fruit do you like? What vegetables would you be willing to try? How about with a sauce?

We build for success. We take what people can do and build off of that. We don't push them down a tunnel and say GO without making sure they feel equipped to do it.

A lot of people tell me that they're told in order to lose weight they must stick to 1200 calories, no if, ands or buts. And certainly they cannot add in extra calories for exercise.

Now that might work for some people. But for people that have tried, tried again, and tried some more to lose weight and keep it off- why would we start there?

Let's start with 1600 calories, stick to that, deal with the sabotaging thoughts and hard situations that arise at that level, and give lots of 'high-fives' for accomplishing that for a few weeks.

Then let's move down to 1400- and see how that feels. After that feels good, maybe just maybe, we'll move down to 1200.

But finite numbers with no wiggle room are mentally unhealthy to me. Between 1200-1400? Now that sounds like a range that someone can handle.

What if one week they exercise a lot? Or go to a once in a life time party? or have the stomach flu for a few days?

Rigid numbers are prison bars that don't resemble the real world we live in.

My next blog post will be about the "sufferring" theory of healthy life changes. But for now let's just end with this:

In order to make a change you need a food plan:
-that has some flexibility
-that feels doable
-that works in treats and things that make you happy
-that considers the amount of exercise you do
-that doesn't feel like you're holding your breathe until its over

And if a plan sounds too hard- ask yourself what pieces you can start with- and then slowly but surely- giving yourself a lot of credit for what you are able to accomplish- move your way up. Build on your competency- don't drive yourself to failure by starting with something that wasn't meant for beginners, eating or exercise wise.

Let's hope for a 2014 filled with habits that make us feel good about ourselves, our capabilities, our resistance muscles, our forgiveness muscles, and our healthy habits as a whole.

Its Cold- Do I Have to Get Off The Couch?

The short answer to this question- is "YES YOU DO"

Now the long answer.

Cold slows us down, it makes our bodies want to kick into hibernate mode.

Exercising, whether its running, going to a class, doing a DVD at home, all include things that are not fun when it's cold. Those reasons are, but not limited to:
-changing your clothes
-leaving your house
-moving around without a blanket and slippers
-taking a break from sipping coffee, hot chocolate, or tea
-exerting effort when not being forced to so by children, spouses, bosses, grocery store clerks or street sanitation workers

Not fun right?

But here's the thing- we NEED to exercise- and truthfully, when we allow ourselves to think about it logically, we want to exercise. And, oddly enough, exercise actually warms us up and gets our blood flowing to our hands and feet which are sometimes the coldest of all.

There are some cognitive, and behavioral things we can do to make this work- ready for what they are? No- common, we'll do this together- I know you can do it:
-Write a 'Response Card' which you keep in your wallet, on the wallpaper of your phone, next to your bed, and stapled on your forehead that says:
'THE HEALTHY PERSON I WANT TO BE INCLUDES REGULAR EXERCISE- I WILL BE SO HAPPY AND PLEASED WITH MYSELF WHEN I AM FINISHED- JUST DO IT!
or something like that

Behaviorally- don't let yourself go to sleep, read a book, call a friend, or in some other way hold yourself hostage, UNTIL YOU EXERCISE

Meeting up with a friend is a GREAT idea

As is pre-paying for a class!

Chart which days you worked out and what you did- you'll love looking back at all of the hard work.

Reward yourself with coffee with friends, new workout clothes, and 'you go girl' shouting on a regular basis.

Ok- its time to stop blogging- and go exercise- wish me luck- I know I'll be happy about it in a few minutes :)

The Power of a Craving

The feeling is there and it's intense.

I want the chocolate

I need the chocolate

I will have the chocolate

It consumes you, blocks your thoughts, stops your productivity, and makes you down right cranky.

I find that especially small little things, like chocolate covered almonds, M&M's, or things like that are the most deadly.

"They're so small, 2 or 3 won't make a difference"- my mind always tries that trick on me- because in the past it always worked.

My favorite author and expert on this topic Dr. Judith Beck suggests an experiment: she calls it the Hunger Experiments (not to be confused with the Hunger Games- trust me- though equal in brutality, these are two very different events)

She would probably label little chocolates a trigger food for me, and here's how the experiment works. Take your trigger food- buy it and bring it home. Prepare all the reasons why you want this (your advantages) prepare a list of distracting activities to do, and picture yourself strong and confident. Then take your trigger food, open it in front of you. Smell it, hold on, and keep on doing it until that intense craving feeling fills your being.

Then note the time, pick up the food, throw it in the garbage, and walk away (if tempted to garbage eat, which we know every person does at some point in their life, consider pouring vinegar on it as well).

If you're upset about the waste of food- I hear you- but that food is not food, it's garbage- and the question is whether its going to rot in your stomach or in the garbage can.

Go do your distracting activity, call a friend, go for a walk, play a game, read a book, DO SOMETHING ELSE AND GET DISTRACTED.

When its over, note the time, and how long it took for the intensity to go away.

Then write down a memory, either in your journal, your date book, or on an index card that says "on this day, i resisted, I walked away, I distracted, and I was strong- I can do it'.

Does this solve the issue or cravings no? Does it mean that when you're at someone else's party you can go over to the refreshment table and throw away the trays so that you don't eat the craving food? Well maybe, but don't expect to every be invited anywhere again.

What it does mean is that your are stating to plant a seed in your brain that knows, that is sure, that you CAN DO IT. That when it comes down to it YOU ARE STRONG and YOU CAN RESIST. And slowly but surely you will crave that feels of strength as much as you crave the chocolate.

Additionally- once I felt that I was in control of the amount, I also planned in treats for myself of these little chocolate goodies. That way I don't feel deprived- I ate it when I planned on it and stuck to a set amount.

So do I find myself still reaching for the small candy bowl absent mindedly or with evil intent? Absolutely- but I work on myself- and I celebrate every victory where I'm able to withstand the urge. And I forgive myself easily when I don't.

So what do you think? Are you game for a little experiment?

Sometimes You Need to Give In.....

Seeing something delicious but less than healthy (that you really want to eat!) can be challenging to resist.

Coming home after a really long day, feeding your family dinner, cleaning up from the long day, and then being faced with a box of Oreos is hard to resist.

Being invited to your friends birthday party where you planned on only sticking to the fruits and vegetables- to then find out that she's serving your absolute favorite dessert takes a really strong iron will to overcome.

But do you always have to walk away?

The answer, especially once you're at a healthy weight, and even if you're still in "weight loss" mode is no, you don't always have to have a zero tolerance rule.

If anything- sometimes the amount of emotional energy it will take to completely walk away may not be worth your while in that moment.

So should you give in and eat what you want when you want? Well obviously no- and if you're interested in this blog you probably already knew the answer to that.

When faced in situations like the ones above you have three options:

1.you can say no, strengthen your 'resistance muscle' and walk away

2.you can say yes- but decide ahead of time the amount- and make it a smaller amount then you would normally have (2 Oreos instead of 4, half a piece of cake instead of a jumbo size, 10 tortilla chips instead of 20).

3. If you were planning to have a "treat" food the next day you can ask you yourself- do I want this more than the treat food I'm having tomorrow? If yes- then go for it and skip the planned treat. If not- use the treat food to keep yourself from eating the food right in front of you.

As always, the moral of the story is- make a plan- and insert a thought process into your food eating. You don't have to live without the food you love- you just need to put it in it's proper place and time.

With Chanukah and Thanksgiving upon us- there has never been a better time to practice the skills of planning ahead and when tempted- choosing from the options above.

Good Luck! Enjoy life and Stay Healthy!