This means a lot to me for many reasons. But as I was thinking about what to write about this week- it connected in my brain why this is important to me in my health journey as well.
We are a culture- and women are a gender- that doesn't always value speaking up ourselves and what we need.
It is a real skill to be able to identify that we need support, be able to articulate what it is that we need, and then have the courage to face our own shame or need to be all powerful and be vulnerable to someone else in our life.
People often say to me-
"I can't ask my husband to change what our dinners look like"
or
"I don't want to have to bother anyone else with my eating issues"
or
"Its embarrassing to have to tell my mother in law that I can only eat certain things or that I'm bringing my own food"
or
"I'm embarrassed to tell people that I'm trying to eat differently, because I've tried so many other things before and they haven't worked and I'm afraid of failing again- and having someone I care about know about it"
Trust me, I understand how horrifying, embarrassing, shaming, and feeling needy to someone else can be.
But you deserve it- you deserve the right to have someone make accommodations for you and cheer you on.
You would want someone else you love to come to you and tell you what they need in order to be happy and healthy.
And let's remember that we live in a ridiculous society where we almost need to feel scared to ask about needing healthy foods.
Change is hard- change feels awkward- but we NEED to ask for support so that the people around help us to become the healthier people we need to be, instead of actually making it harder.
So be brave-
ask someone for what you need
tell you spouse or loved one what you need in order to build the healthy life you dream of
be ready to compromise and don't push healthy food on other people that aren't ready for it- but don't accept living a life with cookies and brownies under your nose at all times.
Which brings me back to my husband. I thank G-d every day for my husband, because he doesn't always see eye to eye with my healthy eating decisions. He won't eat half the things I make for myself, and he even has the salads started at the other end of the table from him when we're entertaining guests because he doesn't find them all that appetizing.
But he helps me, he supports me, and he's proud of me for the differences I've been able to do differently in my life. I was afraid to ask him at first. Because it's so not something he's interested in (yet, I'm sure his metabolism will slow down some day and he will be) and it's not something he understands because he has no emotional attachment to food.
But I sat him down, explained how out of control I felt, explained what a friend and enemy food is to me, and talked about how much I want to be a different person when it came to health.
And he agreed- so he accepts much plainer dinners, so that I can concentrate more on my dinners. He watches the kids time and time again so I can go running. He had to deal with the fact that we wouldn't be going to eat as much as we used to. And all of the ridiculous magazines that come our way that I needed in order to learn how to do this new life that I wanted for myself.
But he did it with a smile (sometimes a plastered on smile) and with love- because he knew it was whats best for me. And that meant ultimately better for us.
So I want to take a moment to say thank you to my supportive amazing husband-
But I also want to encourage you to break out of whatever it is that's holding you back about sharing your dreams, your goals, and your needs when it comes to your health. Ask for what you need from those around you, nicely, but with the conviction that you're a priority.
You need to do this in order to be successful.
and
You're worth it!
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