Why When Sad Things Happen Do I Wind Up in the Kitchen?

Yesterday was a hard day. It was one of those kind of days when the world seemed unfair. Someone I knew passed away, I listened to the funeral and cried through the eulogies. The weather was cold and rainy. It was just a bad day.

I have been actively working on my food beliefs and habits for about two years now, and yet, throughout the day yesterday I kept finding myself in the kitchen, looking around, without knowing how I got there.

But I knew, oh yes, I knew why I was there.

I was rummaging- I wanted chocolate, I wanted cookies, I wanted cake, BRING ON THE ICE CREAM

Wasn't that the only thing that could save a day like that? Doesn't chocolate cure all the world's ills?

Deep emotion, especially sadness and helplessness over tragedies, tend to have that effect on me. Somewhere deep in my brain the neuro-transmitters that connect chocolate and emotional comfort are so deeply intertwined- that it might always be that sad situations bring me to face my freezer in a desperate search.

But I have learned to stop and ask myself what I really need. The thought and deeply rooted belief "I need chocolate to feel better" went unquestioned for so long. But now I challenge that like a well trained lawyer and can fire back at that belief "oh yeah, whens the last time you went to sleep after a sad day and thought to yourself- well the day was a total wreck and the only thing I'm grateful for is that Hershey's bar" or "I don't need to eat food that will make me feel bad about my self control- I need comfort- let me go find something else that will bring comfort."

Is it 100% fool proof? Do I always stop from eating junk when I'm sad? No- and I don't think that NEVER is really my goal. Everyone once in a while ONE ice cream cone on a bad day is just fine in my book.

I used to have days when I woke up and realized that the night before I had finished off more cookies, ice cream scoops, and chocolates than I cared to remember.

Yesterday I was able to convince myself into some amazing flavored tea with a cinnamon stick.

Using cognitive behavioral habits to manage my health life means I can stop and shine a flashlight on a tough emotion just long enough to ask myself "what is it that I really want- what am I really thinking right now."

I can't control and prevent sudden loss and tragedy in this world, no one can.

But I can cope with things in a way that make me feel truly comforted, and proud about my ability to channel that into something constructive as opposed to destructive.

So let's hear it for large steaming cups of tea! And here's to hoping for only hearing about happy news and not needing this skill for a while to come.