This has not been the smooth ride I though it would be.
The first time I got healthy, it was amazing. I am realizing now that part of why it was amazing was that it all surprised me. The weight loss, the strength, and the feeling that I can do it was all so new that it was incredibly motivating.
This time, I have the feeling of "I should be able to do this". Every pound lost is being met with a "finally" by me instead of a "yay this is incredible." It's not all new and novel. It's old news, and its difficult.
This is a mistake. Expectations that are being put on me without any positive affirmation are not ok.
We all do this, I once heard this concept be called "the tyranny of the shoulds"
I should be thin
I should be able to do this easily
I should be eating healthy
and
I should be thrilled about eating healthy and exercise.
But what we want to move towards is a balance between positive motivation and acceptance:
This may not be as easy this time, and thats ok
My body may not be ready for a hard amount of intense exercise, and that's ok.
I may struggle and feel unmotivated at times, and thats ok (as long as I don't too badly self sabotage the health goals I'm trying to meet)
I accept that with each baby it might get harder,
I accept as I get older it might get harder,
I accept that there may be other things going on in my life right now that are a higher priority than healthy food and exercise on any given day
I need to shower love and acceptance on myself, on my situation, and not a sense of disappointment.
While at the same time remembering every morning:
I love my body and I need to keep it healthy
I feel so good after I exercise
I feel so good after a day of healthy eating and giving my body what it needs
I feel so good about myself when I'm able to fit into my clothes
I want to be able to run faster and without pain which most definitely means I need to slowly lose more weight.
It's a balance, good days, hard days, lots of exercise, letting my body rest, feeling motivated, feeling done with it
And thats ok.
Let the journey towards health continue
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Sometimes, when you just feel like hiding from your health
It would be easy to say I had an excuse....
An excuse for not eating as healthy as I was before, an excuse for gaining more weight than I should have, and an excuse for not blogging.
And I did, I was pregnant, gave birth, and then started to take care of a beautiful baby boy, Thank G-d.
But that's no real excuse. If anything when you're pregnant and nursing you should be eating more healthfully, maybe slightly bigger portions, because your baby needs you.
No, I just felt like I couldn't worry about it for awhile, like I was too tired to try for a bit, and too scared of the accountability to blog while the numbers on the scale went up and up. I felt like hiding and not thinking about it, which is pretty much what I did.
The good news, not all the work went out the window. I did not start eating white bread again, I found I didn't even like the taste of it anymore. I still ate a lot of salad, broccoli, avocado, and green beans with a lot of my meals. And perhaps the biggest change I saw was that in previous pregnancies I lived off of bagels, every morning and sometimes even twice a day, during my nauseous stage. But this time, besides for the occasional bagel, I stayed committed to not letting that fat loving food become my main stay. I exercised through the pregnancy (only eventually stopping because of a strained ligament which became quite painful towards the end). All in all it would not be unfair of me to say that I succeeded in so many ways that I wouldn't have previously.
But in so many ways I let go. I ate unplanned foods and ridiculously unplanned amounts. I snacked again at night. And some nights I just ate wacky mac along side my kids because I was too exhausted to make myself anything different.
In the next few months I plan on really trying to take a look at what happened, what went wrong, how could I do it differently if I were in that situation again, and how would I help other people get out of that if they were going through it.
But ultimately I wanted today to write about two main points I am coming out with.
1. You are going to go through bad or hard spells sometimes, and the quicker you can accept it without beating yourself up about it, the quicker you can move on. Just because you're slipping, doesn't mean the whole thing is going down the drain- hold on to whatever you can, and don't adopt the mentality of "well I'm already going down hill, pass me the whole box of donuts"
2. Its time to begin again. I have been nervous about this day for a long time, but looking forward to it too. I yearned to be back on the wagon, and waited patiently for the energy to get my health life into an organized form. May 4th I started. Hello again weight watchers, Hello again exercise 4-5 days a week, hello again weight loss competition with one of my brothers in law, hello meal plans on the fridge, and hello counting my cups of water. Though I'm exhausted every night, I can honestly say I missed you. I'm taking care of myself, and I will get back down to the weight again in a healthy, slow, and in the right way for my body.
Lastly, though again not entirely his fault, My dearest baby Tuvi- you were worth every pound of it.
An excuse for not eating as healthy as I was before, an excuse for gaining more weight than I should have, and an excuse for not blogging.
And I did, I was pregnant, gave birth, and then started to take care of a beautiful baby boy, Thank G-d.
But that's no real excuse. If anything when you're pregnant and nursing you should be eating more healthfully, maybe slightly bigger portions, because your baby needs you.
No, I just felt like I couldn't worry about it for awhile, like I was too tired to try for a bit, and too scared of the accountability to blog while the numbers on the scale went up and up. I felt like hiding and not thinking about it, which is pretty much what I did.
The good news, not all the work went out the window. I did not start eating white bread again, I found I didn't even like the taste of it anymore. I still ate a lot of salad, broccoli, avocado, and green beans with a lot of my meals. And perhaps the biggest change I saw was that in previous pregnancies I lived off of bagels, every morning and sometimes even twice a day, during my nauseous stage. But this time, besides for the occasional bagel, I stayed committed to not letting that fat loving food become my main stay. I exercised through the pregnancy (only eventually stopping because of a strained ligament which became quite painful towards the end). All in all it would not be unfair of me to say that I succeeded in so many ways that I wouldn't have previously.
But in so many ways I let go. I ate unplanned foods and ridiculously unplanned amounts. I snacked again at night. And some nights I just ate wacky mac along side my kids because I was too exhausted to make myself anything different.
In the next few months I plan on really trying to take a look at what happened, what went wrong, how could I do it differently if I were in that situation again, and how would I help other people get out of that if they were going through it.
But ultimately I wanted today to write about two main points I am coming out with.
1. You are going to go through bad or hard spells sometimes, and the quicker you can accept it without beating yourself up about it, the quicker you can move on. Just because you're slipping, doesn't mean the whole thing is going down the drain- hold on to whatever you can, and don't adopt the mentality of "well I'm already going down hill, pass me the whole box of donuts"
2. Its time to begin again. I have been nervous about this day for a long time, but looking forward to it too. I yearned to be back on the wagon, and waited patiently for the energy to get my health life into an organized form. May 4th I started. Hello again weight watchers, Hello again exercise 4-5 days a week, hello again weight loss competition with one of my brothers in law, hello meal plans on the fridge, and hello counting my cups of water. Though I'm exhausted every night, I can honestly say I missed you. I'm taking care of myself, and I will get back down to the weight again in a healthy, slow, and in the right way for my body.
Lastly, though again not entirely his fault, My dearest baby Tuvi- you were worth every pound of it.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
The voice the says "Uch, I don't care about this anymore."
You know what I'm talking about- that voice....... that annoying voice in our heads that when its late, or we've had an exhausting day, or when we don't want to have to prepare ourselves something healthy when there's so much good perfectly made unhealthy food around us.
the voice that says :
I don't care anymore!!!
I don't care if I can't fit into my skirts anymore.
And I don't care if it's bad for my heart.
And I don't care that I've worked so hard, I just don't CARE!
You know that voice?
I know that voice, and for some reason it's been speaking pretty loudly in my head recently.
Dr. Beck in her book, labeled that 'our teenager voice'
Thats the voice thats inside of us, with it's arm crossed across her chest, snapping gum loudly, while breaking curfew and ditching school and looking at you with a stare that says 'oh yeah, and what are you going to do about it.'
Otherwise known as our teenager voice.
And whats the best way to handle a teenager? Acknowledge her needs, label the rebellion for what it is- just a phase, and move on.
The same is true with that voice. When you hear it inside of you, urging you to eat what you want, skip exercise, and give up on this whole stupid health thing- the first thing you need to do is:
-Laugh, its funny that we still have that piece of us inside telling us what to do.
-Acknowledge the want to just not care - it would make life a whole lot easier
-Distract- do something else for a minute to clear your mind
-Redirect- go read where you wrote down the reasons you wanted to be healthy in the first place, or call someone who you know can re-motivate you to where you want to be.
But please, don't hand out the keys to your teenager voice- in a few days time when you snap out of it- you will not be pleased with the havoc wreaked on your body and your resolve.
the voice that says :
I don't care anymore!!!
I don't care if I can't fit into my skirts anymore.
And I don't care if it's bad for my heart.
And I don't care that I've worked so hard, I just don't CARE!
You know that voice?
I know that voice, and for some reason it's been speaking pretty loudly in my head recently.
Dr. Beck in her book, labeled that 'our teenager voice'
Thats the voice thats inside of us, with it's arm crossed across her chest, snapping gum loudly, while breaking curfew and ditching school and looking at you with a stare that says 'oh yeah, and what are you going to do about it.'
Otherwise known as our teenager voice.
And whats the best way to handle a teenager? Acknowledge her needs, label the rebellion for what it is- just a phase, and move on.
The same is true with that voice. When you hear it inside of you, urging you to eat what you want, skip exercise, and give up on this whole stupid health thing- the first thing you need to do is:
-Laugh, its funny that we still have that piece of us inside telling us what to do.
-Acknowledge the want to just not care - it would make life a whole lot easier
-Distract- do something else for a minute to clear your mind
-Redirect- go read where you wrote down the reasons you wanted to be healthy in the first place, or call someone who you know can re-motivate you to where you want to be.
But please, don't hand out the keys to your teenager voice- in a few days time when you snap out of it- you will not be pleased with the havoc wreaked on your body and your resolve.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Use the feelings of "fatness"- don't let it slow you down
One of my good friends said to me the other day :
"I'm not even going to step on the scale for a few weeks after the holiday- it's not worth it- I know it will be higher than it should be."
Everyone I know is like stepping out of a cave when it comes to health. The food was never ending, the work needed to make the food happen was exhausting, and the exercise was either non-existent, or not as it should be.
But- we can do it- it's time to take a deep breathe, and jump right back in to doing the things that we know will get our body back to where it needs to be.
So feel that extra bit of flab, that extra tightness of your clothes, or look at the higher numbers on the scale- then take a deep breathe and say to yourself:
"This is to be expected because of the reality of my last few weeks- but I won't let it get me down as it doesn't can't ever define ME- I will choose to use it as motivation- I will use it as my push to get off the couch and exercise, I will remember this feeling every time I reach for the (add craving food here), and I will use it every time I think that I can have just one more helping of unplanned foods at a meal. I am going to burn this uncomfortable, yucky, demoralizing, feeling of what I DON'T want into my memory so that I can use it again and again- and I am going to step by step do what I need to do to be the healthy person I want to be once more."
The trick is to not feel that you're starting over
The key to this is not turning this into a pity party and further proof of why you are not capable of doing this,.
You can do this- stop putting yourself down and make a plan.
Three things you can do to turn that "fat" feeling into action:
-Learn what a proper portion size is- and commit to stick to it at every meal for a whole week
-Write our a weekly meal plan- write out everything you're going to eat ahead of it and stick to it no matter what
-Commit to exercise one more time than you're used to this week- you don't need a class or a machine to get it done- look up a strength or cardio workout that you can do in your own living room for 20 minutes
Lastly- I am starting two new groups within the next few weeks- contact me if you're interested. Getting the encouragement of a group and committing to a 12 week class is one of the best things you can do to make the changes you want to see in your life.
I leave you with one of my favorite inspiration videos about what it means to change your life- it can be running- it can be anything- the goal is to just do it- and as in this video- the goal is not just about health- it's about self esteem and becoming the happier person you want to be
"I'm not even going to step on the scale for a few weeks after the holiday- it's not worth it- I know it will be higher than it should be."
Everyone I know is like stepping out of a cave when it comes to health. The food was never ending, the work needed to make the food happen was exhausting, and the exercise was either non-existent, or not as it should be.
But- we can do it- it's time to take a deep breathe, and jump right back in to doing the things that we know will get our body back to where it needs to be.
So feel that extra bit of flab, that extra tightness of your clothes, or look at the higher numbers on the scale- then take a deep breathe and say to yourself:
"This is to be expected because of the reality of my last few weeks- but I won't let it get me down as it doesn't can't ever define ME- I will choose to use it as motivation- I will use it as my push to get off the couch and exercise, I will remember this feeling every time I reach for the (add craving food here), and I will use it every time I think that I can have just one more helping of unplanned foods at a meal. I am going to burn this uncomfortable, yucky, demoralizing, feeling of what I DON'T want into my memory so that I can use it again and again- and I am going to step by step do what I need to do to be the healthy person I want to be once more."
The trick is to not feel that you're starting over
The key to this is not turning this into a pity party and further proof of why you are not capable of doing this,.
You can do this- stop putting yourself down and make a plan.
Three things you can do to turn that "fat" feeling into action:
-Learn what a proper portion size is- and commit to stick to it at every meal for a whole week
-Write our a weekly meal plan- write out everything you're going to eat ahead of it and stick to it no matter what
-Commit to exercise one more time than you're used to this week- you don't need a class or a machine to get it done- look up a strength or cardio workout that you can do in your own living room for 20 minutes
Lastly- I am starting two new groups within the next few weeks- contact me if you're interested. Getting the encouragement of a group and committing to a 12 week class is one of the best things you can do to make the changes you want to see in your life.
I leave you with one of my favorite inspiration videos about what it means to change your life- it can be running- it can be anything- the goal is to just do it- and as in this video- the goal is not just about health- it's about self esteem and becoming the happier person you want to be
Monday, April 7, 2014
Me Before You? But Matzah Before Me?
There's a popular book out right now called 'Me Before You'. When I saw the title of the book I thought to myself, is that a question or a statement?
A lot of the women I talk to, work with, am friends with, am related to, etc.- they all have the same problem. Where do they rank in priority list?
Me before the cleaning?
Me before the cooking?
Me before the shopping?
Me before the bedtime stories?
Me before the date night with the husband?
Me before the homework and the new shoes because there's holes in the old ones?
What do I mean with this priority list?
Exercising and eating healthy takes time, attention, and concentration- no two ways about it.
So something has to give....... something has to be put farther down on the list........
A lot of women have spent their lives putting other people before them- now that's a hard habit to break.
As women- there's a high emphasis on being caring, giving, and selfless- and doing things to help take care of yourself at the "expense of others" seems to go against that. "I don't want to be one of those selfish women"- is something many people in my groups have told me.
But the picture is skewed- the situation is being looked at through a fuzzy looking glass.
To take care of yourself so that you feel refreshed and renewed and can go into each of the relationships in your life in a more whole hearted way?
To take care of your health so that you can dance the night away at your childs wedding, run around with your grandkids at the park, and live years longer to enjoy what blessings G-d gave you.....
Does that sound selfish to you?
Pesach, Passover, The Matzah holiday- its coming soon, and its coming fast.
Stress runs high, tempers run short, and there is a lot to do.
But that doesn't mean you can't plan out what you're eating this week, and even next week.
That doesn't mean you should stop exercising. Quite the opposite- you need it now more than ever.
And if you're taking the time to take care of yourself in the middle of this storm, not only will you be more pleasant to be around- but you will be modeling for all the loved ones around you how to balance stressful life situations with the need to replenish yourself as well.
Get outside, breathe in the air (still cold, but better than last month), and remind yourself that there's a whole world still pumping around you.
Dance, run, job, walk, yoga, whatever- do something for you- because you deserve it, and because it makes you an even better you to be able to share with other people.
And as always- make a plan- here are some suggestions:
-plan out each meal, even on yontif, and don't skip having a healthy breakfast each and every day
-walk and move your body every day
-plan in exercise- at least 2 to 3 times during the week
-give yourself dessert limits like: I can choose one dessert or two dessert items per day- and have fruit otherwise
-drink lots of water (especially since wine at the Seder can dehydrate you easily if you don't replenish
-Enjoy yourself and live in the moment- don't spend the whole holiday worrying about the next part
Lastly- as always- we all make mistakes- just catch yourself as quickly as possible and move on to a healthier day the next day.
Chag Kasher V'Sameach
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
When it doesn't go as planned...
Though I have been wanting to write this post ever since the incident happened, I have been dreading it, and putting it off for as long as I can.
Forgive me healthy habits readers for I have sinned, I have broken my plan, and have not confessed to you my hh community about the how's and whys of this occurrence.
And truly, I have talked about falling off track before, but I think the reason why this is hard is because this was about something else a whole lot deeper, so let's take a moment to talk about what happened.
I wrote to you all about how I went off to a distant city to learn a new professional skill to help my clients that I work with.
I wrote out all my plans, everything I packed, everything I was going to eat, and how confident I was feeling in my ability to flex that resistance muscle, while still eating delicious dinners at restaurants so I wouldn't feel deprived.
Well on day two of my training is when the incident occurred. Thought it doesn't have to do with my work with eating and health, some of the other work I do has to do with trauma and abuse. I was learning a skill to use with clients to help them overcome traumatic memories.
Part of this training was that we would learn the technique, and then in the afternoons we would split into pairs and be asked to access our worst memories from childhood. Didn't need to be abusive or incredibly traumatic, but not the ones we really want to be thinking about and that we wish we could forget entirely.
So now imagine, I'm in New York City, away from my family and my home base. I am meeting all day in a conference with people I have never met before and creating all new relationships. The training is in a basement, and they provide nothing to eat but chocolate rugelach and some instant coffee. Its all new learning, for an entire day at a time, and to top it off we are being asked to share the worst of our childhoods with complete strangers to be used and exploited in the name of training experience.
By the middle of the day on day two I could feel that I was breaking. I was exhausted, emotionally, physically, and cognitively. And a dear young new friend of mine offered to take me to see the main street where all the restaurants and activities were happening during our lunch break. I needed to get out of that basement, so anywhere sounded good.
We drove, and soon enough we were in front of one of the best pizza places in the world. I said I didn't want to stop, but my new friend could tell I was lying, and nudged me to go in. I couldn't help it. I was exhausted of all energy and will power, so I went in and ordered a slice.
Now what upsets me about this story is not that I ate a piece of pizza, it was only one, and I could have figured out a way to substitute it for a different treat, or whatever,
What just flabbergasts me is the reaction to the eating of that piece of pizza. The experience completely took me over. I closed my eyes. I ate it slowly. It was so good I almost started crying. I felt consumed by this pizza. I felt near tears at the sensation of eating this glob of cheese, oil, and crust in my hands. I felt all warm inside. Like as if my body were saying to me "oh thank goodness, what the heck took you so long, we were dying in here." But it truly felt that I wasn't just filling a physical hunger, but in a true sense an emotional one as well.
I felt like I got a glimpse of what it must feel like to be a cocaine addict, or some other type of addiction. Many people believe that food can be and is an addiction in a true sense for people. I felt that day like I was enamored and completely subsumed by this pizza eating experience. It felt awful, humbling, and yet so right all at the same time.
So there's my confession- its not what I did- or how much I ate- it was the feeling of deep emotional relief that came along with it that made me embarrassed to declare to you all what had happened.
Its been over two weeks from that day and that experience. And I am grateful for it because it taught me several things.
1.It doesn't always have to be wrong to be comforted by food. Eating can possibly be one tool on your tool-belt of life coping tools. Especially if the eating has a beginning and an end to its quantity. Food just can't be your only or main coping mechanism.
2. I really can't, not for myself or the people I work with, underestimate the power, pull, and intoxication that people have with food. It defies logic, thought, or reason at times. So in order to help myself and others with their food, healthy, and control issues- I need to respect the level of power food can have in life.
3.The more that you can understand how emotional needs are powerful- the more you can forgive when things like this happen and move on quickly. On the way back to my hosts home after this training I was already planning ahead to what the rest of my evening would look like exercise and eating wise. I could have been beating myself up the whole time instead- which would have only made things worse.
4. During emotional times, I need a better plan. I am going back in June for the second part of this training. I need a better plan and I need to expect emotional exhaustion. This means I need to plan less outings with friends at night while I'm there and more sleep time. This means I should plan to look at comforting pictures during the lunch break of my family and friends. This means I need to breathe and let go of the anxiety in my shoulders consciously throughout the training days. This means I should plan on having heart to heart talks- or long runs during my lunch and dinner breaks. If its emotional needs that filling- well I better fill it or food will.
5. Maybe next time I will plan on bringing something chocolately with me for a lunchtime treat that I can control the portion and fat content- and eat less for my dinners.
If you can't learn and adapt from every "mistake" that happens, that's where life will get you.
That's it from me for now.
Signing off very humbly human,
Rachel
Forgive me healthy habits readers for I have sinned, I have broken my plan, and have not confessed to you my hh community about the how's and whys of this occurrence.
And truly, I have talked about falling off track before, but I think the reason why this is hard is because this was about something else a whole lot deeper, so let's take a moment to talk about what happened.
I wrote to you all about how I went off to a distant city to learn a new professional skill to help my clients that I work with.
I wrote out all my plans, everything I packed, everything I was going to eat, and how confident I was feeling in my ability to flex that resistance muscle, while still eating delicious dinners at restaurants so I wouldn't feel deprived.
Well on day two of my training is when the incident occurred. Thought it doesn't have to do with my work with eating and health, some of the other work I do has to do with trauma and abuse. I was learning a skill to use with clients to help them overcome traumatic memories.
Part of this training was that we would learn the technique, and then in the afternoons we would split into pairs and be asked to access our worst memories from childhood. Didn't need to be abusive or incredibly traumatic, but not the ones we really want to be thinking about and that we wish we could forget entirely.
So now imagine, I'm in New York City, away from my family and my home base. I am meeting all day in a conference with people I have never met before and creating all new relationships. The training is in a basement, and they provide nothing to eat but chocolate rugelach and some instant coffee. Its all new learning, for an entire day at a time, and to top it off we are being asked to share the worst of our childhoods with complete strangers to be used and exploited in the name of training experience.
By the middle of the day on day two I could feel that I was breaking. I was exhausted, emotionally, physically, and cognitively. And a dear young new friend of mine offered to take me to see the main street where all the restaurants and activities were happening during our lunch break. I needed to get out of that basement, so anywhere sounded good.
We drove, and soon enough we were in front of one of the best pizza places in the world. I said I didn't want to stop, but my new friend could tell I was lying, and nudged me to go in. I couldn't help it. I was exhausted of all energy and will power, so I went in and ordered a slice.
Now what upsets me about this story is not that I ate a piece of pizza, it was only one, and I could have figured out a way to substitute it for a different treat, or whatever,
What just flabbergasts me is the reaction to the eating of that piece of pizza. The experience completely took me over. I closed my eyes. I ate it slowly. It was so good I almost started crying. I felt consumed by this pizza. I felt near tears at the sensation of eating this glob of cheese, oil, and crust in my hands. I felt all warm inside. Like as if my body were saying to me "oh thank goodness, what the heck took you so long, we were dying in here." But it truly felt that I wasn't just filling a physical hunger, but in a true sense an emotional one as well.
I felt like I got a glimpse of what it must feel like to be a cocaine addict, or some other type of addiction. Many people believe that food can be and is an addiction in a true sense for people. I felt that day like I was enamored and completely subsumed by this pizza eating experience. It felt awful, humbling, and yet so right all at the same time.
So there's my confession- its not what I did- or how much I ate- it was the feeling of deep emotional relief that came along with it that made me embarrassed to declare to you all what had happened.
Its been over two weeks from that day and that experience. And I am grateful for it because it taught me several things.
1.It doesn't always have to be wrong to be comforted by food. Eating can possibly be one tool on your tool-belt of life coping tools. Especially if the eating has a beginning and an end to its quantity. Food just can't be your only or main coping mechanism.
2. I really can't, not for myself or the people I work with, underestimate the power, pull, and intoxication that people have with food. It defies logic, thought, or reason at times. So in order to help myself and others with their food, healthy, and control issues- I need to respect the level of power food can have in life.
3.The more that you can understand how emotional needs are powerful- the more you can forgive when things like this happen and move on quickly. On the way back to my hosts home after this training I was already planning ahead to what the rest of my evening would look like exercise and eating wise. I could have been beating myself up the whole time instead- which would have only made things worse.
4. During emotional times, I need a better plan. I am going back in June for the second part of this training. I need a better plan and I need to expect emotional exhaustion. This means I need to plan less outings with friends at night while I'm there and more sleep time. This means I should plan to look at comforting pictures during the lunch break of my family and friends. This means I need to breathe and let go of the anxiety in my shoulders consciously throughout the training days. This means I should plan on having heart to heart talks- or long runs during my lunch and dinner breaks. If its emotional needs that filling- well I better fill it or food will.
5. Maybe next time I will plan on bringing something chocolately with me for a lunchtime treat that I can control the portion and fat content- and eat less for my dinners.
If you can't learn and adapt from every "mistake" that happens, that's where life will get you.
That's it from me for now.
Signing off very humbly human,
Rachel
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Purim- Let the Junk Food Onslaught Begin
Purim is a supposed to be a time of happiness, charity, closeness to G-d, appreciating miracles, and appreciating our daily small miracles. They say that its a day of holiness where the gates of heaven are open to us and we can ask for anything we want.
Yet- we don't usually have time to be devout, pour our hearts out, or even feel like a normal human being- and really- how can we make requests from G-d when our mouths are so darn stuffed with food the whole day.
People who have food issues feel fear in their hearts when Purim comes along. There is just so many food decisions to be made. There is just so many people eating junk food everywhere we look. Its also hard because it's almost like we've been programmed to think that a part of Purim is eating the junk food.
This is a good time to talk about two things- one is about planning ahead, and the other is paying attention to why you're compelled to eat.
Number One, I've talked about ad nauseam on this blog, but it's worth repeating: Make a plan!!!!
This can and should include:
-Writing out ahead of time what you will be eating for breakfast lunch and dinner plus fruit snacks throughout the day
-Making sure you eat those meals and snacks and don't let yourself get too hungry
-Close your eyes and see yourself eating your omelet in the morning, your whole wheat tuna wrap with extra lettuce for lunch, or whatever you're eating- and smiling while saying "no thank you" to all of the shaloch Manos that come swarming into your house.
-Decide ahead of time to eat one or two "treats" Maybe one at lunchtime and one at the end of the night after you've surveyed all the bounty that has accumulated.
-Promise yourself a reward (non-food) of some kind the next day if you can stick to that plan.
-Give yourself credit, it's amazing that you can do what you are able to do.
Number Two: Why are you eating junk food when you don't want to be?
-Eating is very often about more than just "bad habits". You're eating because you're feeling something and food will calm it, distract from it, and help you escape from it.
-If Purim is going to be overwhelming for you and you usually eat when you feel flooded- then your game plan needs to be more extensive than what's listed above. You need something else to do to cope with the craziness.
-If you're eating because you're sad, or feeling rejected, or stressed- same thing- lets find something else to help you with that.
Try the following:
-Breathing exercises (more helpful than you might think) - identify that you're feeling one of the things listed above, and then try some 'belly breathing'
-Imagery- Last week when I was away for the week one of the things I had to do was pick a 'safe place' in my head, a place I can go when I feel overwhelmed to just be, and feel safe, and then come back when I was ready. I forgot how useful this technique is, and I recommend you try it.
-A pre-prepared buddy: Tell someone you're worried about Purim and that you may need to text or call them to vent instead of eating
-Take a early morning, mid-day or early evening walk outside. Whether its a 3 mile run or a walk around the block to get some air. Fresh air and physical movement can re-center you in a way that's different yet as effective as food.
-Write a responses card to help you- a card that could remind you that food doesn't help you feel better- it often makes it worse. Or a response card that reminds you that whatever comes your way that you can handle it.
We can do this. We can get through Purim in a healthy way, picking a few treats, feeling proud of ourselves that we can say no to bad food choices, and being kind to ourselves.
Purim is an excellent opportunity for us to build up, as Dr Judith Beck calls it, "our resistance muscle"
Happy, Healthy, and Holy Purim everyone!
Yet- we don't usually have time to be devout, pour our hearts out, or even feel like a normal human being- and really- how can we make requests from G-d when our mouths are so darn stuffed with food the whole day.
People who have food issues feel fear in their hearts when Purim comes along. There is just so many food decisions to be made. There is just so many people eating junk food everywhere we look. Its also hard because it's almost like we've been programmed to think that a part of Purim is eating the junk food.
This is a good time to talk about two things- one is about planning ahead, and the other is paying attention to why you're compelled to eat.
Number One, I've talked about ad nauseam on this blog, but it's worth repeating: Make a plan!!!!
This can and should include:
-Writing out ahead of time what you will be eating for breakfast lunch and dinner plus fruit snacks throughout the day
-Making sure you eat those meals and snacks and don't let yourself get too hungry
-Close your eyes and see yourself eating your omelet in the morning, your whole wheat tuna wrap with extra lettuce for lunch, or whatever you're eating- and smiling while saying "no thank you" to all of the shaloch Manos that come swarming into your house.
-Decide ahead of time to eat one or two "treats" Maybe one at lunchtime and one at the end of the night after you've surveyed all the bounty that has accumulated.
-Promise yourself a reward (non-food) of some kind the next day if you can stick to that plan.
-Give yourself credit, it's amazing that you can do what you are able to do.
Number Two: Why are you eating junk food when you don't want to be?
-Eating is very often about more than just "bad habits". You're eating because you're feeling something and food will calm it, distract from it, and help you escape from it.
-If Purim is going to be overwhelming for you and you usually eat when you feel flooded- then your game plan needs to be more extensive than what's listed above. You need something else to do to cope with the craziness.
-If you're eating because you're sad, or feeling rejected, or stressed- same thing- lets find something else to help you with that.
Try the following:
-Breathing exercises (more helpful than you might think) - identify that you're feeling one of the things listed above, and then try some 'belly breathing'
-Imagery- Last week when I was away for the week one of the things I had to do was pick a 'safe place' in my head, a place I can go when I feel overwhelmed to just be, and feel safe, and then come back when I was ready. I forgot how useful this technique is, and I recommend you try it.
-A pre-prepared buddy: Tell someone you're worried about Purim and that you may need to text or call them to vent instead of eating
-Take a early morning, mid-day or early evening walk outside. Whether its a 3 mile run or a walk around the block to get some air. Fresh air and physical movement can re-center you in a way that's different yet as effective as food.
-Write a responses card to help you- a card that could remind you that food doesn't help you feel better- it often makes it worse. Or a response card that reminds you that whatever comes your way that you can handle it.
We can do this. We can get through Purim in a healthy way, picking a few treats, feeling proud of ourselves that we can say no to bad food choices, and being kind to ourselves.
Purim is an excellent opportunity for us to build up, as Dr Judith Beck calls it, "our resistance muscle"
Happy, Healthy, and Holy Purim everyone!
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